I'm the one
by EspoirDio
Summary: A response to kateandharvey's challenge. I just option number 1. Niles/CC of course.
1. Part 1

**Hi guys!:) So I decided to try something different tonight. This is a response to kateandharvey's challenge. I just the 1st option, the song fic, but it turned out a bit longer than intended so I decided to write it in 2 parts, I'll write the second part asap. Just let me know what you think of this one first!;)**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, I'm merely falling asleep as I'm writing this!lol**

_You're the one with eyes like windows_

_Nothing you can't hide that I don't know_

_I can't see why you keeping it a secret_

_When what you feel's so deep, just let it show_

He had been the one to call her when Sara had had the accident. He was secretely feeling bitter that all these tasks fell onto him, yes, as a butler it was his duty to make certain phonecalls but clearly this was a different case, after all, he had been friends with Sara too. Didn't they realise how hard it was on him to call the children, to see their frightened little faces? But as he looked around him in the busy corridor of the hospital he realised how selfish he was being. Maybe this was actually a matter of trust, it was only natural for Maxwell to race to his wife's side but he had been certain that Niles would be able to comfort the children and bring them there. And even if these hadn't been his reasons, Maxwell clearly had more important things on his mind.

Niles heaved a sigh, shifting uncomfortably in the rigid chair while being careful not to wake up little Gracie. Maggie had fallen asleep next to him,finally overcome by the emotional exhaustion, but Brighton was wide awake, fingers gripped so tightly around the edges of his chair that his knuckles had turned white.

"Mum won't come back." he whispered, his voice high-pitched and frightened.

"Don't think like that,Master Brighton." Niles tried to comfort him, but he couldn't deny how worried he was himself...Maxwell had been with the doctor for far too long.

When he looked up again he noticed a familiar, tall blonde walking around the corner and once she caught sight of them she straightened her back and lifted her chin up just a bit.

"Any news?" she asked in a clipped voice, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

She didn't even acknowledge the children, simply addressed him,eyes locked with his as if drawing strength from them. He shook his head but before he had a chance to say anything Maxwell appeared, his eyes red and puffy.

"She's conscious now." he said in a raspy voice "But the doctor is still very concerned...They are going to have to operate, but I managed to persuade them to wait for a moment so the children can see her."

And with that he softly woke Maggie, while Brighton already got to his feet.

"I'll leave Gracie with you, Niles. And when we're done, you 2 can go in." he said and Niles simply nodded.

A few minutes after they had left Grace awoke and sleepily opened her eyes. Niles got to his feet, lifting her from his lap and she instintively wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Niles, I'm thirsty."

"Lets see if we can find some soda then, but not too much, otherwise you will have to go to the bathroom." he whispered to the child and she giggled lightly.

When he turned to look at C.C. he could tell what he had guessed from her tense body language before, her eyes were practically begging him not to leave her. Cradling the child to his chest with his left hand, he used his free one to give C.C.'s shoulder a squeeze.

"I'll be back in a minute."

She stared after him even though he had already disappeared. He amazed her, the hidden strength he had not to crumble but to keep up the facade for the sake of others and to even make the little girl laugh in a situation like this,it was remarkable really. A part of her even wished she could be little Gracie, seeking comfort in his embrace,while cursing that she had to be the tough Bitch of Broadway instead.

"Here you go." he said and she blinked when she noticed that he had returned, holding a cup of coffee in front of her nose.

"Oh, thanks." she said dully,taking it from him.

Grace had apparently fallen asleep again but was still clinging on to him like a little monkey.

"Are you ok?" he asked, sitting down next to her and sipped on his coffee.

"Well, I've been better." she commented sarcastically.

There was a little pause in which she took a sip of her coffee too but when she could still feel his eyes upon her, she quietly said:

"I don't want to see her...I'd rather remember her-"

But it got too hard at that point, the lump in her throat was making swallowing so painful now and the unshed tears stung in her eyes. She lifted her head up in a sharp movement to avoid his prying stare, although she knew that it was too late.

He hated to see her light-blue eyes filled with such pain, even more than he hated to see her struggle like this. He wished at that moment he could let her know that her secret was safe with him,that he wouldn't tell anyone that the Bitch of Broadway had a heart.

"I'll be there with you."he said instead.

* * *

That was the last time they had seen Sara,for she had died on the operating table. Although C.C. was incapable of forgetting the picture of her best friend lying on the bed battered and bruised, she was still glad she had gone to see her, it had given her the chance to say goodbye.

At the funeral C.C. had chosen a seat in the last row much to Maxwell's annoyance. He had wanted the family in the first row, and Sara had certainly counted her as part of that. But C.C. knew herself very well,she knew that she wouldn't make it. And sure enough, when Sara's father was giving the eulogy her body was wrecked by sobs so badly that she fled the chapel. Once outside she took off her heels and began to run, she didn't care about the stones she stepped on or the shards of glass that sent a stabbing pain through feet, instead she simply kept going until she stopped underneath a willow tree. She remained there for quite some, arms wrapped around herself, grieving with dry sobs. She rocked back and forth as her hurt manifested itself by pained screams escaping from her lips, she couldn't cry again, the pain was still too strong for that.

_It only takes a second to begin_

_And all I want to do is let you in_

"There you are." a voice said that startled her.

She was almost glad to see him standing there, glad that it was him who had found her.

"How do you do it?" she asked, her voice hoarse from screaming "How do you remain so strong?"

She studied him closely as he approached and for the first time saw the redness of his eyes and a wet trace of tears on his cheeks.

"I just pile other people's grief on me to forget my own," his voice was raw with emotion "but I wouldn't recommend it...it still hurts."

"Then you shouldn't be here.." she said, lowering her eyes.

"Some people are worth it." he replied and pulled her into an embrace.

As his arms tightened around her she thought how much he had bared himself to her just to show her that even the strong people just needed to be comforted at times. And at that moment she was willing to trust him and so she finally cried, cried for a loss of a wonderful friend, for the loss of the children and for the loss of a life that had been somewhat perfect. All that time he didn't speak but just continued to rub her back soothingly. When she felt like there were no more tears to cry she stepped out of his arms.

"Can you stay with me tonight?" she asked quietly "Or will Maxwell need you?"

"Sara's parents are staying at the house, so at least he isn't alone. He'll have to understand that I couldn't leave you alone either."

_Oh, one touch can set it all in motion_

_One word in the perfect moment_

_One chance to take when it comes_

_One life is all that we're given_

_One love to make it worth livin'_

_Take a look back before you run_

_I'm the one_

And so Niles went back to her penthouse with C.C. She tossed her keys on the table and went to check the answering machine, while Niles poured them each a drink. What C.C. had temporarily forgotten though was that her machine played all the old saved messages and when Sara's crystal clear voice filled the room, C.C.'s heart felt as if it was being ripped apart.

"Hiya Chastity, I was wondering if you'd like to come over for dinner tonight?Niles is making duck so there will be plenty, even though he keeps saying that you went through such a big stage of depression again that you might just eat it all by yourself...He knows you very well, isn't that strange? Anyway, I think we ought to chat again, I want to know what's been going on. Byyee"

A strangled sound escaped her throat but before the trembling could take over her body again, he had grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the sofa.

"Sit down, drink this." he instructed, placing a glass filled with amber liquid into her hand.

The alcohol burnt her throat but it momentarily washed away the other pain, but it wasn't enough to take it all away and so she turned to face Niles, asking for permission. He gave her a small smile and then she burried herself in his arms. His scent and his warmth were so comforting and familar that her hysterical sobs soon died down.

"I miss her so much.." she whispered.

"I know, I do too." he said and wiped her tears away "But I still feel as if she is around."

C.C. nodded slowly and attempted a smile, her eyes fluttering shut when he began to stroke her cheek.

"She fought so hard to break down my barriers." C.C. found herself saying "She just never gave up, no matter how cold or distant I tried to be. I just envied her life, her ability to love so easily, to give so much.I didn't deserve her...I should've told her." she said, getting more upset again.

"She knew,C.C." was all he said and she opened her eyes.

A part of her had known this all along and yet she was so grateful that he had said it out loud. Her eyes were shining with tears and she looked so exquisitely fragile that Niles just followed his instinct and leaned in to kiss her. After an initial moment of surprise he found her hesitantly responding. But as soon as it had begun the moment was gone again.

"Niles, I can't ...I mean we can't...what are we doing?Who are we kidding?The only reason this happened is because I'm vulnerable right now. And I can't deal with any added... complications. Maybe it was a bad idea to ask you to stay."

"No,C.C., I'm sorry, I shouldn't have overstepped. I hope you can forgive me but I still think I should stay here, just in case you should need someone."

She nodded quietly, biting her lip and walked to her bedroom to get him a blanket and some pillows.

"Good night, Niles." she said but when she reached her bedroom door she turned around again.

He was sitting on the sofa, eyes fixed on her, displaying sadness as well as love. And upon seeing this she almost regretted turning around at all ,for it was so very hard to tear herself away now.


	2. Part 2

**Hi guys!:) I hope I did an ok job with this challenge, here's part 2, the end. Hopefully you'll enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything, only a bunch of ideas thanks to kateandharvey ;)**

_I don't know what you've been through_

_But someone somewhere left a mark on you_

_Well, I'm not them and they're not me_

_I don't believe in hurt you can't undo_

_Use the complications you can't face_

_But a single kiss can take them all away_

Niles didn't know why she had reacted that way, although he certainly knew what had caused his actions. The blonde socialite had always had a special place in his heart; he adored her beauty and her passion but more than that the vulnerability she viewed as an imperfection, the very one she hid behind a mask of bitterness. To her this flaw was like a crack in a Ming vase, while to him it meant quite the opposite, for it made him want to protect her from any harm. He rubbed his temples and stretched out on the sofa, he had never been able to control himself when it came to her but still...all was not lost,at least she had allowed him to stay.

In the middle of the night he was awoken by moans that soon escalated to screams,coming from her room. Massaging his shoulder with the left hand he slowly got to his feet and approached her bedroom. Hesitantly he opened the door, only enough to peek inside. She was lying in the fetal position, clutching a pillow to her chest and tears were running down her cheeks.

"No.." she muttered, and when she began to thrash around he decided to step in.

He swiftly walked over to her bed, sat down and carefully shook her.

"Miss Babcock!" no reaction "C.C., please,wake up!"

At this she opened her eyes and focused on his face.

"It's alright,it was only a dream." he said,smoothing her hair.

"Sara's still dead..."C.C. said in a hollow voice.

He didn't reply but simply hugged her close but she soon squirmed in his arms.

"Why do you keep suffocating me?"

"Suffocating-C.C., I'm only comforting you!You were screaming in your sleep, I was worried...I'm just giving you a hug."

"You're not respecting m-"

"I'm sorry I kissed you,ok?" he practically screamed "I apologised before, I just got carried away, but I would never force you to do anything."

At this her shoulders slumped and she let out a shaky breath.

"I know, I'm sorry.I'm overreacting..it's just that I don't want..."

"I understand." he cut her off, and although he was trying to save her the trouble of struggling for words, he was also trying to protect himself.

"No,you don't, you stupid man." C.C. contradicted sharply,firmly gripping him by his shirt before he could get up."I just find it difficult to talk about...I mean, even with Sara it wasn't easy, but at least she knew me...better.I'm not good with complicated situations,I like things that are straight forward...but she always helped me deal with my emotions...She had been in my life for such a long time she just knew why I was acting in a certain way,she knew about the things that had happened..." her voice trailed off but as she talked she leaned against him.

Niles registered this with a soft smile, thinking about a brunette C.C. with her thick glasses and what kind of people she must have encountered to make her this suspicious.

"I think you'll be fine." he said gently, lifting her hand to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss on her knuckles "If you need anything, don't hesitate. You know where I am."

_Oh, one touch can set it all in motion_

_One word in the perfect moment_

_One chance to take when it comes_

_One life is all that we're given_

_One love to make it worth livin'_

_Take a look back before you run_

_I'm the one_

The next morning when she got up Niles wasn't there and she assumed that he had gone back to the Sheffield residence to prepare breakfast. Feeling famished herself, she quickly washed and got dressed and then hailed a cab. When she arrived at the Sheffield's a picture of utter chaos met her eyes. Brighton was running around, knocking over things and Maggie was wailing loudly,clinging to her grandmother's skirt, while Niles was carrying a crying Gracie in his arms.

"Maxwell, we're taking the kids with us for a couple of days, to give you some time..." Sara's father was saying and C.C. sighed,knowing very well that the last thing Max needed was to be alone.

Niles turned around in time to see her stepping into the den,arms wrapped around herself, clearly overwhelmed by the grieve and the tension.

"Hey, shouldn't your kind be hiding from the daylight by now?" he tossed across the room.

He watched as a look of confusion washed over her face that was soon replaced when a small smile lit up her face, and he was glad to find that she didn't look so lost anymore.

She was relieved and thankful to discover that he had decided to leave the awkwardness of the previous night behind and instead was presenting her with the opportunity to save her face.

"Dustbuster, stop playing around with the child. Make me some breakfast!" she commaned and immediately all attention snapped to her.

Niles could barely hide a grin when he said: "I can't, we're all out of dog food. But I'll leave the toilet seat up for you."

She stoically stared everyone else down and when her eyes found Niles' before he left the room, he winked at her.


End file.
